


Carlisle killed in Volterra

by Huggy6ear_Angel



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:26:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29142945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Huggy6ear_Angel/pseuds/Huggy6ear_Angel
Summary: The circumstances the led Carlisle to fail
Relationships: Aro/Carlisle Cullen
Comments: 7
Kudos: 16





	Carlisle killed in Volterra

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning for accidental self-harm

It had been an accident.

He had let his guard down a little too much. Aro was being too good with him, too accepting, too loving. He had started to feel happy. How foolish to think he could ever deserve anything other than guilt and sorrow and regret.

It was an accident. He swore it then and he would swear it again, and when at long last, he was called to stand in front of Saint Peter and account for his actions, moments before he would begin his ungraceful descent to endless nothingness, even there, he would swear it was an accident.

He was happy, his judgement clouded, his mind careless.

But some days begin with disasters and one can only prevent them by avoiding living them. But Carlisle was never very observant of signs and omens and he couldn't read clouds or incense smoke or the silence of the birds. So he went about his day as he would any another.

In the library, on the most modern aisles, he passed the shelves with one hand caressing the back of the books, looking for a very specific one, one that spoke of plants and supposed healing properties. His steps were short, his thoughts too preoccupied and Caius had been too silent, as he usually was. Carlisle made a turn to continue his search on the other side of the shelf and he fell onto the older vampire. Quickly backing away with an apology on his tongue, he meant to bypass him and come back to this part of the library later.

“Good morning, Carlisle,” Caius greeted him. He was holding a handwritten journal that he shut quickly the second the younger one stumbled onto him. Carlisle hesitated, the leader made a point to avoid Carlisle at all times and he made absolutely sure Carlisle knew it.

“What is it that you are looking for with such engrossment?” Caius asked.

Carlisle blinked, straightened a bit, weary. But trusting too much was always his biggest flaw and took Caius' offer of help for what it seemed to be.

“Good morning, Caius. I had a revelation yesterday and I am very much looking to put it to trial. I need to see a reference to make sure I am doing what must be done, so I am looking for that new book that is filled with notes on how each root and leaf and fruit are beneficial to a person,” he said, unable to hide his enthusiasm as his words progressed.

“Ah yes, of course. All in the study of medicine, I suppose,” Caius said and to his credit, there was only a slight hint of mockery. He turned to the numerous tomes on the shelf and easily picked out the one Carlisle described, handing it to him.

“Here, I hope you find what you are looking for.”

Carlisle looked at him, suspicious of his actions, but reached his hand to receive the offered notebook. Caius held it tightly when Carlisle tried to pull it back, forcing the younger vampire to meet his eyes.

“I'm not irrational, Carlisle, nor am I unreasonable in my antipathy towards you. I have told you before, I do not trust you, but it is more than that. I can see what you are doing to him. I can see what he is doing to you. You are bad for each other. You are planting seeds of doubt and second thoughts in him and he is corrupting you. I do not like you, but I respect your cause and ways, and I can see how he is leading you straight to failure.”

He let go of the book, letting Carlisle bring it close to his chest and left in quick strides, leaving Carlisle to stare after him.

Perhaps if Carlisle spent more time thinking about what he was doing as he scribbled his own notes and questions to be answered and less about Caius' words, the day would have progressed in a different manner.

Carlisle took far longer than he would have liked looking at the pages but at last he managed to gather his wits and complete his study, going to the gardens within the palace walls, Didyme's gardens that Marcus was taking care of now, and meticulously looked over every type of plant that lived there. He spotted what he needed, made sure there were enough of them and held the gentle stem between his fingers, meaning to pull it from the soft ground. He hesitated, looked up at the glass ceiling, calculating how much longer until the guards would return with a group of unsuspecting people.

The sun wasn't setting yet, he had time to find Marcus and ask his permission to take a couple of flowers.

He found the leader resting against the side of the dark wooden, grandiose entrance to the palace, looking at the guards who stood at the metal gates at the front of the yard.

They were leaning against opposing stone pillars, using the cast shadows to their benefit, indulging in a lazy afternoon conversation. Carlisle looked at the black dressed figures under his own hood, the scene struck him as oddly human - the only thing missing was maybe some tobacco and a flask to be passed from guard to guard - and the young vampire found himself once again doubting the savagery of the residents of the palace.

There was always a strange atmosphere on the days of feeding, a calm enthusiasm, a restless ease, and Carlisle found himself craving this charged sentiment.

He approached Marcus.

“You haven't left yet?” Marcus asked him and took a few steps back, allowing them both to step past the doors and be safer inside the walls.

“I wanted to find you first and I'll be on my way,” Carlisle said with a smile.

Marcus was good company, understanding and never rude or unkind. Carlisle liked him the most.

Marcus walked slowly, urging Carlisle to fall into pace with him.

“Oh it's fortunate that you found me then. I doubt it will be much longer until the people arrive.”

Carlisle lowered his hood and paced next to Marcus, following easily as the leader seemed to take them nowhere in particular. Carlisle had once wondered why Marcus was so fond of walking as he conversed, but never asked. “How may I be of service, young Carlisle?”

Carlisle smiled, forever amused by the fact that he was technically older than the leader.

“I wanted to ask your permission, Marcus, to take a few flowers from the gardens. I went to see for myself earlier today and there are enough that the beauty will not suffer from my transgression.”

Marcus turned to a narrow corridor, moving deeper into the palace, still his pace was calm, compelling Carlisle to be relaxed as well.

“I see. May I ask if there is a reason behind it?”

“There is. I intend to recreate an experiment and hopefully improve the results. My notes say that the combination of chamomile and honey can be quite soothing on irritated skin. But I think, if I combine these two along with lavender and maybe thyme, the benefits will multiply.”

Marcus led them down many stairs, moving deeper and lower into the palace.

“Very interesting, I must admit, I always found the science of medicine fascinating. I suppose you would like to take lavender and thyme?” he asked, keeping Carlisle absorbed in the conversation as the corridors they walked through darkened further.

There were a few torches here and there making it easier for any who had wandered to find their way, as the stone walls narrowed and twisted, making the echo of their words and silences louder.

“Yes, you see I have been busy and gathered chamomile a few days ago, left it under the sun to dry and I bought honey from the market yesterday. All I am missing is lev-” Marcus pushed him against the wall, one hand over his chest, the other pressed over his mouth.

“This is the only place in the palace no one can hear us,” he whispered and slowly let go of the younger vampire, calculating if he would comply. “If you want my advice, Carlisle, run.”

Carlisle was looking at him stunned, his eyes wide, seeing for himself that the friendly and serene vampire could be terrifying as well.

“Aro loves you. He really does. And what he loves, he kills.”

Marcus moved away from the speechless vampire, started walking again at the same calm pace.

“Take whatever you want from the gardens,” he called, already a fair distance away from Carlisle.

Carlisle wondered if the two men had conspired together, using Aro's absence to their advantage. What for, he wondered.

Was he in danger?

But he was... happy.

Did they both know something he did not?

Caius and Marcus had been alongside Aro the longest, they must know him better than anyone.

_He is corrupting you – He loves you – Run._

But he was happy.

He didn't want to leave. He had grown to consider some of the guards here as friends, even though he was always unnerved by their red eyes and they didn't seem to fully understand his golden ones. He had grown used to wearing a cloak and a hood and enjoy the sun that way, he had grown familiar with the people of Volterra, and the grown fields and the wild animals, and the colours of this town. Aro was making him feel calm, safe, appreciated. He had grown quite addicted to his love and acceptance, and he was willingly giving everything he could back. He was as close to having a home as he had ever gotten and he didn't want to leave.

His feet took him to Aro's personal chambers, the ones he did not share with Sulpicia, instead of away from the palace. He paced around, drowning himself in Aro's scent, trying to make sense of what his brothers meant.

 _Was_ he being corrupted?

He certainly felt less strongly about the blood spilling, and the execution of some criminals, but it still upset him greatly to see the guards' careless treatment of their victims. It still pained him to hear the screams and the pleading, which is why he chose not to be present most days. Did that mean he was accepting it? Did that mean he had given up the fight to convince them? Did that mean he had indeed been corrupted?

Thump-thump.

 _He loves you, he loves you, he loves you_.

And I love him.

_Run, he'll kill you, run, run._

Marcus couldn't have meant it literally, could he? Of course, Carlisle had heard the rumors. Everyone seemed to be in on a common secret, that no one dared admit they knew. Perhaps Marcus was literal, perhaps he knew something further than the guards, perhaps he was the only one to truly know.

Thump-thump.

You are bad for each other. He is corrupting you.

_Make it stop._

He loves you.

_Make it stop._

Thump-thump.

_Make it stop!_

The door to Aro's chamber opened, a young woman slipped inside. Carlisle lunged.

He instinctually had her face between his hands and twisted. She never had the chance to scream, his fangs were in her flesh, as he accompanied her fall.

_God, what have I done?_

He jumped back, the last gulp of blood spilled from his lips, travelled down his neck.

_No, no, no, no-_

He was again over the limp body, hands pressing over the unmoving chest, trying to find a missing heartbeat. He pressed to the side of her neck.  
Useless, the blood wouldn’t stop. No salvation. It was dripping and dripping and creating a pool underneath the poor lady's head, dripping-

Carlisle pulled away, passing shaking hands through his hair, spreading dark red through golden tufts. His back hit the wall and he slid down, knees drawn close to his body, palms to his forehead. He couldn't look away from the spilled blood. ~~From the blood he spilled, he did this, he killed her.~~

Aro came back, Heidi informed him that a human had been sent to his chamber. He thanked her and stopped at Carlisle's room to leave him a flower, certain the blond had left, as per usual, before making his way to his own chambers, thirsty and intending to get cleaned up before Carlisle returned. He hated the lingering smell of _people_ that inevitably stuck to his clothes every time he walked among them. He passed the halls and took the turns, feeling that something was off. It was too quiet, and the smell was a little too intense to be coming from his clothes alone.

He opened the door to his chamber.

A pool of blood on the floor, a cold body lying in it, he almost fell to his knees to crawl to it, incredibly enticing even like that, Carlisle against the wall across it. He shut the door within a second, preventing anyone from accidentally peeking in. He stood with his weight against it for another moment before making his way to the ~~scarlet stained,~~ blond haired man slowly, carefully. He gently touched his arm, expecting to be shoved away, attacked even, but Carlisle remained as he was. Aro gained some courage, pulled at Carlisle's arm coaxing him to stand, placing himself in front of him to block his view of his victim.

Carlisle looked at their shoes, unable to meet Aro's eyes, as the older vampire led him to the small, adjacent bathroom. He turned Carlisle strategically away from the view of the rest of the room and away from the mirror over the sink. With precise movements and expert fingers he undid Carlisle's shirt, removed his undershirt and allowed himself only half a moment to look in wonder at the blood that had gathered where his collar bones met. He used the clean side of Carlisle's shirt to wipe as much as possible, and quickly he was undoing his trousers.

“Stay here a moment,” he said softly and returned to the main room using the clothes to soak up the spilled blood on the floor. Unable to resist, he dipped one finger in the little red pool and brought it to his lips, tasting the nectar that should have been his, but was now forever tainted on his soulmate.

His eyes turned brighter but he was no less thirsty when he called a guard and ordered them to dispose of the body, burn the clothes and bring him water for a bath.

He was back in the bathroom in a flash, shocked for the second time in a few minutes, because Carlisle was facing the mirror, the blood on him thinner and more spread and he was holding a shaving blade, viciously scraping at his cheeks, tearing his skin by sheer force. Aro gently placed his hands over his, stopping his movements and getting a violent flash of his thoughts.

_Carlisle turned to the mirror, wanting to face what he had done and meeting a pair of red eyes on his reflection. Was that him? He wasn't sure, but it must be so, there was no one else in the room._ _He rinsed his hands desperate to remove the blood, but it stained. It stained his hands, it had stained his skin it had stained him-_

_He splashed water on his face, helpless and more frantic by the second, because the water wasn't helping, it merely smeared the blood, and now it was everywhere on his face. It was dripping to the short stubble that he had carelessly let grow on his face and he rubbed his stained hands through it but it wasn't going away. He frantically looked around and picked up the shaving blade. He shakily passed it over his cheeks, too forcefully, cutting through his own skin but fully unaware of it, because yes, there, finally the blood was being cleaned off. He would be clean again, he would just have to-_

Carlisle allowed his grip to relax and the blade hit the floor with a metallic ding. Aro guided him into the tub and someone knocked on the door. He bent to pick up the blade, wiping it on his black trousers as he went to receive the water.

Carlisle saw Aro return with the same calm expression he had been wearing since he first entered the room, still silent. Why wasn't he talking to him? Was he angry? Was he disappointed? Was he happy? Had he succeeded in his corruption? ~~Did he still love him?~~

Aro helped Carlisle rid of his remaining clothing, picked up a clean, soft cloth and stepped inside the bathtub fully dressed. He washed his hair with incredible attention and cleaned his nails carefully, wiped every inch of his skin clean, making sure not to leave a single spot dry. Carlisle was looking pointedly down, ashamed, heavy as Aro used warm water, the gentlest soaps, the softest oils and careful, tender hands.

“Do you want me to help you shave, Lilo?”

Carlisle blinked. _Lilo?_ That was him. That was how Aro called him. So, was he still... Did Aro still...

He nodded.

Aro dripped some oil on his palms and dabbed his face, subtly checking if the cuts Carlisle had caused to himself had healed. He picked up the blade and gently, with the most careful touches, he removed the offending hairs from his soulmate's face.

He rinsed him off one final time, used the softest towels in the whole palace to dry him and had the smoothest silk garments ready to dress him.

He checked himself in the mirror once to make sure there were no red drops on him, and then turned all mirrors around, drew the curtains to all windows and put away all objects that may reflect. He led Carlisle to the bed in the middle of the room, guided him to sit and quickly retrieved a ground salt from the bathroom. He threw it over the dried blood on the floor and sprinkled some water over it. He joined Carlisle on the bed and they watched in silence as it began foaming and sizzling.

Aro lifted his _clean_ , white hand and pressed a kiss on his knuckles but Carlisle couldn't look at him. When he deemed the reaction enough, he used a thick towel and wiped the foam from the floor, and to Carlisle's surprise, all traces of the _accident_ had vanished.

All except his red eyes.

He stayed in Aro's chamber for a full week, until there was nothing but complete and utter blackness. If anyone asked about him, Aro smiled cheekily and dismissed them with a comment of Carlisle being busy in his chamber. No one doubted Aro, no one questioned him, no one suspected anything.

No one knew.

Aro spent as much time as possible with him, concealing how lost he felt for Carlisle's benefit.

He had believed he wanted Carlisle to fail, he had wanted Carlisle to drink human blood, to see him with brilliant red eyes, but he had been wrong. It was terrible and it pained his heart and he would take the truth he had been a witness to with him to the fires of hell.

“I can't stay here,” Carlisle told him when he finally found his voice again, after a mess of “I'm sorry” and “It was an accident”. Aro wanted to argue but found nothing to say. There were no words he could put in any order to convince Carlisle to stay with him now. The only thing he managed, as pitiful as it sounded was “Please, I don't want you to leave.”

But Carlisle left.

  
  



End file.
